A Minute with Meg

I have never had a Face book account. I never felt the need for one, and was always leery of some of the things that those who have those accounts would tell me about their Face booking experiences.

 After listening to them, I didn’t understand why I would want to tell people, friends or acquaintances, at any given time, what I was eating, when and with whom. Nor, did I really want to know that about anyone else, and from what they would tell me, it sounded like everyone was stating that they had an awesome mate, kids and life. Really… always?? Come on!

 I might be wrong about this, but I have a hard time believing that this is an accurate portrayal of what is really going on in people’s lives out there, based on my own lives experiences and talking to real people. I thought that it must make everyone else who may have been honest with how their lives were unwinding feel that they were somehow inferior to the fake lives postings on Face book.

 I am by nature a fairly private person who only shares things about myself with a small group of people, and then it is still not as detailed as what I am doing at any given moment in the day, so when I started to think about writing a blog about things that I was passionate about, (including the above statement about making people feel bad about themselves due to not so honest postings), I did so with apprehension and nervousness, but it was something I felt that I needed to do.

You see, I am also a very creative person, who loves to write, correction, needs to write.

 It started with a diary when I was just old enough to write, (still have that little red diary) and continued with journals, poems, songs, you name it; if it crossed my mind with any sense of passion, then I had to write about it, good or bad.

 Writing is my release from all of my emotions good to bad, all of my experiences, happy to sad, and chronicles of not only my life, but those around me as well. Usually my writings are kept to myself, for just me, so when I decided to start my blog; it was due to an overwhelming need that came from somewhere deep within me that urged me to share my writings.

Very scary stuff for a private person like me. Share my inner most thoughts on everything from my views on society to nature, with people I don’t even know? Oh My!

It was going to be a big step to say the least. What if no one read it? What good would that be, and how would I be helping anyone if no one read it, or worse, if they did read it, but didn’t like it. GULP!

Doing good for others was the feeling that got me started to want to write a blog to begin with, so that fear of not helping anyone due to lack of readers, kept me from proceeding with this goal for quite a while, but then one day, BAM, out of nowhere, I just went for it. I set up my page, and published my first article titled free. I had written it more than a year earlier, but the contents still applied, so it became my Guinea pig.

 I felt accomplished that I had gotten that far and past my fear that no one might ever even read it or like it. I was going to go through with this even if no one read it. (Here’s to you Mom- Give that IF a jolly good biff and set it stiff in the corner! Thank you!)

 I asked my sister, who is an avid reader, to read it and review my blog. She did and loved it. Now I know that she might be partial, but I continued on with adding more and more articles. She continued giving me feedback on each one, each time stating that she liked them and they were really good stuff. Thank you Laura!

 All I had really hoped for is that the passion that I felt for each article written would come through to the reader. That is all I still care about when I write.

 If I can help shed the light on something, make someone feel better and not so alone in a struggle they may be going through, laugh and maybe look at something in a different way, then I feel that I have done what I felt the need to do with each article.

 My number of followers on my blog are still small, and I know that some of my writings are pretty deep reading, but some things just need to be said, so I will continue on this journey in hopes of making this world, or at least someone’s world just a little better, one article at a time.

One of those days

 

It’s been one of those days where nothing in particular bad has happened, nor did I get up on the wrong side of the bed, but I am still feeling pretty down. No reason why, just am. It didn’t really start out as a bad day, but then again, it didn’t really start out as a great day either, just a day.

Oh, I have pinned more inspirational, motivational, upbeat quotes onto my pinterest board, than I have pairs of shoes, so according to all of those quotes, I know I shouldn’t feel down, but the fact is I still do.

I am so grateful for all the blessings that I have in my life, so feeling down makes me feel even worse that I would have the audacity to feel this way! AAAHHH!

I am used to being a cheerleader for everyone in my life, but not used to trying to be my own cheerleader. Not sure how to play this role, and am pretty sure that I suck at it.

I have to believe that tomorrow I will feel better, and it will once again be sunny for me, but today, BLAH…

I am pretty sure that this has something to do with me liking to be in control of things. In control of a lot actually, including my emotions, and right now, that is just not happening, for if it were, I would not be writing about this.

So, what to do to get through this? What advice would I give someone else in this same situation? Been there done that already and it’s not working for me. GGRRRRR!!

I guess that’s just life, it’s just one of those days and I have to quit beating myself up for not feeling happy.

As the saying goes,

“Momma said there would be days like this!”

I am going to look at this like I do so many things, look to nature. I am sure that all animals have down days, and they don’t feel bad about it, they just go with it as part of life, so I guess that’s the approach I will take too. Besides, only about 2 more hours and I can go to bed and hopefully have some great happy dreams. Tomorrow is another day. Sweet Dreams all!

See Me

Today's post is a poem not written by me, but found by my mother years ago when she worked as a nurse in a nursing home.

The message is strong and still true to this day. It is titled, See Me.

What do you see, nurses, what do you see?
Are you thinking, when you look at me --
A crabby old woman, not very wise,
Uncertain of habit, with far-away eyes,
Who dribbles her food and makes no reply,
When you say in a loud voice -- "I do wish you'd try."

Who seems not to notice the things that you do,
And forever is losing a stocking or shoe,
Who unresisting or not, lets you do as you will,
With bathing and feeding, the long day to fill.

Is that what you're thinking, is that what you see?
Then open your eyes, nurse, you're looking at ME...
I'll tell you who I am, as I sit here so still;
As I rise at your bidding, as I eat at your will.

I'm a small child of ten with a father and mother,
Brothers and sisters, who love one another,
A young girl of sixteen with wings on her feet.
Dreaming that soon now a lover she'll meet;
A bride soon at twenty -- my heart gives a leap,
Remembering the vows that I promised to keep;
At twenty-five now I have young of my own,
Who need me to build a secure, happy home;
A woman of thirty, my young now grow fast,
Bound to each other with ties that should last;
At forty, my young sons have grown and are gone,
But my man's beside me to see I don't mourn;
At fifty once more babies play 'round my knee,
Again we know children, my loved one and me.

Dark days are upon me, my husband is dead,
I look at the future, I shudder with dread,
For my young are all rearing young of their own,
And I think of the years and the love that I've known;
I'm an old woman now and nature is cruel --
'Tis her jest to make old age look like a fool.

The body is crumbled, grace and vigor depart,
There is now a stone where once I had a heart,
But inside this old carcass a young girl still dwells,
And now and again my battered heart swells.

I remember the joys, I remember the pain,
And I'm loving and living life over again,
I think of the years, all too few -- gone too fast,
And accept the stark fact that nothing can last --
So I open your eyes, nurses, open and see,
Not a crabby old woman, look closer, nurses -- see ME!

This poem was found among the possessions of an elderly lady who died in the geriatric ward of a hospital. No information is available concerning her -- who she was or when she died. Reprinted from the "Assessment and Alternatives Help Guide" prepared by the Colorado Foundation for Medical Care.

Summer Morning

 

 

As I sit out on my porch this late August morning holding my cup of hot coffee close to my mouth, I watch and listen to the morning and nature unfolding all around me.

I live out in the country, so for the most part, there are only country sounds.

Sounds such as the crickets beginning to wrap up their chirping serenade from the night before, and, the birds singing boisterously, while searching for their breakfast.

The Hummingbirds are fighting not only each other, but also the bees, for the sugary water at my feeders, while the squirrels battle over something in the woods.

In the distance there are the sounds of trucks and cars moving along the highway on the way to their destinations.

I look over at my flowers in all of the different pots that line my decks and notice that they have passed their prime, now looking wilted and tired.

It’s been a long, hot, dry summer this year, so there are no deer coming out of the woods to graze at my property edge as I would normally expect to see right now. I miss seeing them. Almost every year since I have lived here, I could count on seeing the deer all year long for various reasons.

In the winter, pawing at the snow to get to some precious grass underneath, possibly sustaining them for yet another day. In the late summer, if the stream in the woods was dry, they would come to my ponds edge to get a needed drink, and, in the early summer, they would do me the honors of bringing their fawns out to show them off to me. In the autumn, they played it smart and kept low and out of sight somehow knowing that it was hunting season.

 

The neighbor’s dog is barking, probably at the birds, and my cat is perched on the edge of the deck, overlooking my property for any little creature that might interest her in an actual game of cat and mouse.

It’s all very serene and very natural.

The sun is beginning to rise higher in the sky, shining down on the dewy grass making it sparkle like a million tiny beautiful diamonds.

It’s going to be another hot day.

I grab my coffee mug and some day-old bread and I walk out to my pond to feed the fish and the 2 cute paint turtles that have taken up residence here this year, most likely due to the stream in the woods being dried up. As I break the bread into pieces and begin to throw it into the pond, all of the fish and turtles gather and eat with voracious appetites. It’s fun to watch all of them, sometimes banging into each other, to get to the food.

I love summer, and I would normally say that summer is my favorite season, but this one has lasted for about 5 months now, and I find that I am looking forward to fall and all that the autumn season has to offer here in the Midwest more than I have ever looked forward to fall before.

Seeing the beauty of the trees changing colors, the autumn smells, and freshly picked apples that snap with a delicious crispness when you bite into them, are just some of the things that are uniquely beautiful to autumn.  The fall foods and festivals, throwing on a hoodie and comfy jeans, and just sitting out in the crisp evenings around a fire. Aaahhh, I can’t wait!

Yes, I love all of what autumn is about, but I do still love all that summer has to offer, and even though this one has lasted for a very long time, I will continue to embrace all that it has to offer while it’s still here. Things that no other season can offer, such as being able to sit out on my porch with my coffee and being part of nature starting another new day.

Lessons Learned

To progress from one grade to the next in school, you must complete a specific set of tasks and pass all necessary tests in order to proceed to the next grade level.

If you don’t complete these items, you need to repeat that grade until you learn what is needed to move onto the next grade.

At least that is how it used to be, and how it still should be, because that is a valuable lesson not only in school, but also in life that everyone needs to learn.

In life, you need to learn lessons to progress to the next level in your life, and if you don’t, you will find yourself repeating the same type of task, taking the same type of test, over and over again if necessary, which is crazy and it doesn’t have to be that way.

Remember Einstein’s definition of insanity- Doing the same thing and expecting different results.

It doesn’t always have to take years to progress to the next level if you just pay attention, pay close attention, because if you find that you keep repeating the same tasks, and don’t seem to be moving on to the next level of your life, you probably need to stop and re assess what you are doing that is keeping you from moving forward.

It’s when you figure this out that you will finally move onto what you have wanted to accomplish and your next level in life.

Empty Nest

I suppose no one really knows how the “empty nest” stage of their life is going to affect them until it actually happens to them.

I imagined how I thought I would feel when my nest was vacated, but I think I was only about half right.

My empty nest probably isn’t that different than a lot of people these days, in that, not only did my last child finally move out, but the little person that we had been helping to raise for the last 4 years, since her birth, moved out with her.

You would think that it might be a relief to not have to clean up after another child, when you thought that you were done with your own, but for me anyway, that would be a wrong assumption.

 Oh sure, I do like the fact that my house stays cleaner for much longer periods, but that is greatly minimized by the fact that I also don’t have that adorable, smart little girl begging me to play, read and laugh with her on a daily basis.

I am sure that my own two kids begged me for those things too, but when you are the mom, so many things seem so much more important at that time, and you really have no idea how fast that time is going until one day they quit asking for your attention, turning to their friends attention instead.

It’s much different when you are the grandparent. You know immediately how fast that time goes, and you promise yourself that you will not take it for granted this time.

I was a child of the 60s and only saw my two grandmothers about 2 times a year when they would visit from Wisconsin. Not much of a relationship in my opinion.

I swore that I would be the kind of grandparent that was an active part of my grandchildren’s lives, having a close relationship with each of them.

 Now, I didn’t realize that I would actually have one live with me from birth, until her 4^th birthday, but to me, that just turned out to be a pleasant surprise.

 I developed such a close relationship with her, that it felt more like being her second mother. So, when my daughter announced on a Monday, that she had probably found an apartment, and moved into it on that Thursday, I didn’t really have much time to absorb the impact of the change this would have on my life.

I threw myself into getting her and my granddaughter set up and settled into their own new little nest.

Then, I took a week to transform my daughter’s old room into a quiet, sunny, day room.

For quite a while, I had envisioned what that room would look like once she moved out, so I was actually looking forward to that part of “empty nesting”.

 The room transformation project took much longer than I had expected, and even stalled, while I waited for pieces of furniture to be completed and delivered, but it finally got completed to my satisfaction, and keeping busy with it kept my mind off of how quiet my house had suddenly become.

 Shortly after they moved out, I stayed on my schedule of keeping my granddaughter at least once a week, so that I could continue my relationship with her. I knew that the move was hard on her, as she had only known our house as her home, and now, she was getting used to a much smaller place with just her mom and her cat.

Once she got more used to her new space, I then transitioned to keeping her overnight every other week.

The week that the “empty nest” hit me hard, and caught me completely off guard, was the week that I didn’t get to see my granddaughter at all, as she was spending time with her dad and his out of town visiting cousins.

I missed her, but I knew that this was good for her to get to know more relatives, so I looked forward to the next week, when I could have her stay with me again.

It’s now been a couple of years since my nest was vacated, and I can honestly say, that I am doing  very well and even enjoying some of the alone time that I got very so very little of for  many years. I have another new beautiful granddaughter and a grandson on the way, so I am not worried at all about having the nest ever get too quiet for very long as I expect to continue having close relationships with all of my sweet babies!

 

Everything is just as it should be.

 Everyone is doing well in each of their own nests, and as any close flock should do, gathers regularly at my nest.

Priorities, Privileges and Entitlement

I think that there seems to be some confusion on the definition of the above three words with some of today’s younger generation.

It seems many feel that by just being alive gives them certain privileges, and that they are entitled to just about anything that they want, and, whatever they do want, they want it now.

They do not want to have to wait for anything that they want, or even really work for it, just get it now, and worry about how they got it later.

Maybe not worry about it at all.

 In this instant society, many have not really had to wait for even a letter in the mail, so they do not completely understand the meaning of having to wait for something.  They just text or email, and instantly they have a response. Add into this factor that many parents give in to this belief, (not teaching their children that all is not always so easy and instant,) and the result is a lot of spoiled, weak, young adults, who believe that privileges, and some material items, should be just as instantly and easily obtained as the instant messaging features on their phones.

 If they do not have the financial means to get what they want, they complain about that same society making it too hard for them to achieve the American dream.

Personally, I am not sure if they really want the American dream and all that goes along with it, as that means being responsible, paying your bills, and working for what you want.

I have seen too many examples of young and some older adults that don’t seem to have enough money to feed their kids the basic food items, but look in their pockets, and you will almost always find the most expensive cell phone, with very expensive monthly bills to go with them.

Look in their cars, and you will find very expensive sound systems.

This is where Priorities come into play. There are some very mixed up priorities out there. This group of people seems to find the money for the fun stuff, but not enough for the responsible stuff. So, what do they do? As mentioned above, they complain about how hard it is to make it, but are completely okay with taking whatever government assistance they can get.

If they don’t have jobs, they complain about how hard it is to find a job, any job. While that may be true for some, it is not true for all.

What they are really saying is that they want the perfect job, one that fits into their schedule, one that feels good. Entry level jobs seem to be too demeaning for this group of individuals. That one blows me away time and time again. What they are really saying here is that bagging groceries, or flipping burgers, is much worse than being unemployed, beneath them, if you will. To that, I say…

Get over it! It is called a job because it is work!

This is not the playground, this is how you make ends meet, pay your bills, take care of your responsibilities, and quit relying on your parents, grandparents, friends, and the government. Grow up and take ownership of your life and your responsibilities!

Next argument from this group… “I don’t have a car or a way to get to a job, or, I can’t afford to drive because gas prices are so high.”

Again, more excuses. In most cities, there is something called public transportation. It doesn’t cost much, but you do have to work with their schedule. The bus isn’t going to wait for you when you are ready, and/ or most times, does not come to your front door.

I do understand that there are places that you cannot get the bus, so you need to have a car. There are some less expensive cars out there if you take the time and look. They aren’t new, and most times are not the most beautiful, but if you are not living in the castle on the hill, then you don’t need a Rolls Royce to drive and no, you are not entitled to have the most expensive car if you can’t afford it!

Just get something to get you back and forth to work and keep in mind that these cars are generally on their last leg, so use them sparingly so that they last long enough for you to upgrade once you make enough money to do that.

You can also look into car-pooling with someone at your job.

You are not owed anything, you do need to work for what you get, and most of us will pay our dues by starting at entry level jobs and working our way up. Make your bills accordingly, and take care of your responsibilities. Quit making excuses, and quit relying on others to bail you out!

Privileges are earned, Priorities need to be put in the correct, responsible order, and no one is entitled to anything that they have not worked for.